Man, that stinks!

This subject has been an ongoing series of complaints and commiserations between my father-in-law and myself... the subject of old ladies and perfume. There was a time that I actually enjoyed wearing perfume, of course this was before my first pregnancy when my olfactory system went completely whacko and I couldn't even be in the same room with someone wearing perfume or heavily scented lotion. Of course, when I DID use perfume, it was in a minimal way. I would spray the "flavor of the day" into the air and then walk through it. I NEVER sprayed directly onto the bod. After all, perfume should be subtle, just a hint, possibly to entice a sexy man into leaning in a bit closer! But this air of subtlety has been completely lost on the older generation! I don't know if it's the fact that THEIR olfactory system has shut down or if it's because, let's be honest, some older ladies don't bathe as often and henceforth use perfume as a cover-up. Either way, they're KILLING ME!

I cannot tell you how many times I have had to exit an elevator 3 floors down from where I needed to go, or walked into a public restroom only to be hit in the face with the reek of Emeraude, or had a meal at a restaurant COMPLETELY obliterated when Eau de Paree came lilting over the booth behind me! In fact, I had one of these nasal assaults happen at my local Schlotzsky's just the other day. There we were, minding our business, enjoying our yummy sandwiches, having a great time, then POW! This woman walked by and I swear the stench that she emitted was ghastly! And it was on a leash! She kept walking by to fill up sodas for her table and everytime she walked by, the smell would hit about 5 seconds later as it followed her like this great, green cloud of death! And you know it's bad when your 6 year-old son (he who delights in all things stinky and foul) comments about the "gross smell" that keeps coming by. Big Daddy and I were trying to pinpoint exactly which nasty perfume it was, "I think it smells like Jovan, no, it's Charlie, no, it's Tea Roses..." Then the Monkey Man interjects, "I think it smells like Gargoyles!" And really, how can you argue with such logic!