Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can...

My son got a Spiderman suit from his grandparents while we were on vacation. Now he has agreed that he doesn't want to be Spiderman for Halloween, he wants to be a robot (we're excited about that!) Anyway, since he received this suit he has been in it non-stop! I don't know why I bother to buy clothes for him as all he wants to wear is that silly suit. Now I'm thrilled that he enjoys the suit, and he is definitely getting his money's worth out of it, but for the love of PETE!!! For some reason when he is suited up, he is a PUNK! He does all sorts of crazy crap that he knows he shouldn't do. Climbing on the stair bannisters, jumping out of the window seat onto the couch or our bed, trying to climb walls, putting his feet on the walls and generally bouncing around and all over and up and down and rolling on the ground with a constant barrage of "tsseew, tseeew" noises accompanied by web-slinging wrist action. It is truly enough to drive you out of your mind! And of course all he is interested in talking about is Spiderman, Tarantula, Venom, Sandman, The Green Goblin, etc... Oh well, I'm sure this is just a phase, and I probably did the same sort of thing when I was 5, but holy cow, if he doesn't quit firing webs at me when I tell him to do something, his new super hero name is gonna be "Time-Out Boy"!


It was my baby's 15-month check-up today and you guessed it... SHOTS! I LOATHE shot days. She got three shots and they stuck her finger to get blood. I could hear her screaming all the way in the waiting room, where I was trying my best to comfort my son who also got two shots! Lucky for him, this is it. Other than possible flu vaccines, he is done with boosters and whatnot until he's 11 or so. Anyway, I got to leave the doctor's office with two crying kids and an extreme desire to punch someone! I know vaccines are necessary, but that still doesn't keep me from wanting to pommel anyone who causes pain to my babies! I am lucky that my hubby comes to the shot appointments and he deals with the actual deed. I just deal with the comfort and hugs afterward. But shots still suck ASS!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Only in a dream...

As I was sleeping, a familiar soft, but raspy voice roused me, "Wake up Sleepy-head!" As I rolled over rubbing my eyes I see my grandfather smiling his crooked smile. He tells me to get out of bed that he's treating me to pancakes at the Tastee Freez. At this point I realize that this is a dream, the Tastee Freez hasn't been in business for years. I look at him, he is still small, bent over and frail, wearing his little tan over-suit (you know, the type that old guys wear when beetling around in the garage) but he looks happy. I turned and hugged him and whispered in his ear that I missed him so much, he hugged me back and said he missed me too. Then it was gone, just like that, the first time I've dreamed of him since his death almost 2 years ago. He was the only father that I ever really had and I guess I forget sometimes how much I miss him!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Job Description

Looking for a mature female to fill a high-stress position.
Applicant must be willing to be work and be on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Must have the desire to work closely with small children. Must be able to manage time, money and children effectively. Skills in the culinary arts highly recommended (must be a master in the fine art of nutritional disguising). An eye for interior design and landscaping preferred. Must be fluent in anger management and conflict resolution. Must also be multi-lingual (able to differentiate between different pitch and frequency in crying, GooGoo-ish, Whine-ese, text messaging, and teen attitude-ese). It helps if you have a high tolerance for crying, whining, and complaining. Medical and Veterinary skills a plus. Must we willing to go days without showering. An ability to troubleshoot major appliances and household gadgets is required. Must have own car and be willing to travel extensive distances at all times of the day or night with small children, strollers and diaper bags in tow. Must be willing to put every other being in the workplace ahead of yourself.

Duties include:
Maid services, meal preparation, laundry services, activity and social coordinating, finance management, daycare, teaching, chauffer service, nursing care, veterinary care, lawn maintenance, project coordination, counseling services, product testing, early childhood development, coaching, refereeing, music appreciation, proofreading, vehicle maintenance, sanitation services, solid waste removal, other duties may be added as deemed necessary.

This position offers no insurance or monetary compensation whatsoever. You will not receive an hour lunch or two 15-min breaks for every 8 hours worked. There is no chance of promotion, however it is highly likely that you will gain more and more responsibilities at any given time. And although you will work 24-7, only others that hold the same position will understand the true meaning of this.

However, your days will be filled with hugs, tiny kisses, hi-fives, "I love you's", the smell of freshly shampooed baby hair, bedtime stories, toothless grins, excited giggles, and best of all, you'll be called "Mommy"!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A Quick Addendum

After all, it is not the boob or even sex that will be the downfall of civilized society, it will and always has been money, greed and power.

Breastfeeding and obscenity

So I was just reading on my Parent Center newsletter when I came across an article about the online directory "Facebook". Now I'm not signed up with Facebook, I'm a myspacer, but the article was annoying nonetheless. It seems as though Facebook is going through and deleting photos of breastfeeding mothers due to their obscenity rules. OK, what? Run that by me again?! Breastfeeding is breaking their obscenity rules? If I'm not mistaken there are pictures of scantily clad teenage girls showing WAY more boob than any breastfeeding mother on that site! These young women are allowed to post photos wearing teeny bikinis with their ta-ta's hanging out for the world to see in order to attract attention to themselves, but BREASTFEEDING is obscene. What the hell is wrong with people? I don't know, photo of a tender moment with a baby at the breast versus bikini clad youngster flaunting her wares, which one is more obscene? Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those uptight women that thinks breasts are bad. If a young women (over the age of 18 mind you) wants to expose her boobs on the internet, then so be it, I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is this site is deleting photos of breastfeeding, but NOT deleting photos of girls in bikinis or girls with their cleavage all pushing out of their tops. I'm sorry, but if you're gonna get rid of the boob in one form, you gotta get rid of it in all forms. But they don't want to get rid of the bikini girls, because those photos attract young males and they get more people using their directory, but because some over-conservative buttheads got "offended" by the breastfeeding photos they're gonna pull them. It just makes me want to puke! As a breastfeeding mother, it really pisses me off when people are "offended" by breastfeeding. What is offensive about feeding a baby? It is a beautiful, natural thing. There is nothing sexual about a breastfeeding boob! There is really no difference between breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, bottom line, it is a mother nourishing a child, nothing more. And anyone who can't see that is a freakin' perv anyway! I personally find people who find breastfeeding offensive to be offensive. Anyone who thinks breastfeeding would be sexually arousing is obviously wound up too damn tight! Leave us breastfeeding mothers be, and go buy a damn Playboy so you can see some titties that are meant to arouse you! And Facebook, your moderators need to get a damn clue, either allow the breastfeeding photos or tank every shot of a woman with cleavage... fair's fair.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Holy crap!

I just got done mowing my backyard. And I can say without hesitation that my hubby owes me BIG time! Mowing is normally his job, but due to us being out of town and him being gone on business, I had to suck it up and mow so our exterminator (green of course) can truly judge our situation tomorrow. This grass (and or weeds) was damn near knee level! The mower kept stalling out, I'm pretty sure I got stung by a wasp and I fell in one of the many holes and damn near sprained my ankle! I can tell you, I am one POOPED-OUT girl! Honestly, if I wasn't in a suburban area, I would torch my freakin' lawn and just start over. It is nothing but a fire ant infested, overgrown, dog shitter! One dying maple tree, one scraggly ligustrum bush and no covered patio, it's a damn hell-hole out there. Guess what we'll be working on this fall?!?!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

From the mouths of babes, take 2.

I don't know what the deal is this week, but my son has been on a roll! It starts with us playing the rhyming game in the car, good, mellow car game, right? Well let's just say that duck rhymes with something that isn't necessarily something I prefer to hear coming from the mouth of my 5 y.o.! So I had to explain that "fuck" is actually not an appropriate word to be used, that it is a "grown-up" word and not a nice "grown-up" word at that. He seemed to understand and has refrained from using the word further, but as far as I know, he is up in his room saying, "fuck, fuck, fuck" as I type. Before this week, I just ignored the word and never made a big deal out of it, knowing that it would just bring unwanted attention to the word, but I figure he is old enough to maybe understand that yes it is a word, but one that is not used in pleasant society. We'll see.

Then today, he was drawing pictures and would come over and tell me what they were. One picture was what he described an "octopus submarine", then he showed me a picture of a "stocking knocker" (what the hell is a stocking knocker?), then he drew a "worm pellet". He explained "worm pellets" were to feed worms and make them change colors. I'm glad to see him finally embracing the world of imagination! But I do wonder where he comes up with these things!

And not more than two minutes ago, he was laying on the floor and informed me that his entire body was asleep, except for his head. OMG, that kid makes me laugh! I think "from the mouths of babes" will have to be a recurring post because this kid is just too damn funny! And who knows what kind of good stuff will come from his sister once she starts mastering language?!?

It had to happen.

We live in a 2-story house, which wasn't my choice necessarily, I REALLY wanted a one-story ranch style, but those are expensive and hard to come by here. Two-story homes are a pain, you forget something and have to run upstairs or vice versa, stairs suck to vacuum, the upstairs is substantially hotter than the downstairs, just more of a pain in general. My biggest problem with 2-story homes however is kids! In the rental house we lived in before this one, my son took several tumbles down the stairs, one time ending in a complete face-plant on the tile entryway. Not a good thing! I was remotely relieved that our new house has the type of staircase that goes up halfway, has a landing and turns the opposite direction for the rest of the way, so I figured if anyone fell, it would only be halfway! Luckily, no one has tumbled down the stairs, that is until yesterday. My little girl, who isn't even walking yet, has taken a liking to the stairs. This is a recent development and I have not caught up with this milestone yet. So while I was clearing the morning dishes, I heard this "whump, whump, whump, splat, WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Believe me, you never saw someone move so fast and jump over a couch in the manner I did! I stripped her down, while she was wailing, to ensure that there were no broken bones or blood, there was not, and in fact, I'm pretty sure she just scared the hell out of herself because she was shaking so hard. She cried and cried, I hugged and cried along with her and we made it through. Babies learning to walk ESPECIALLY with stairs in the house completely sucks! It would help if she weren't such a daredevil, but this little girl is all or none and I worry that she will be nothing but a walking bruise until she's 6. I just remember this stage with my son, crying with him and my heart breaking everytime he skinned a knee or busted his head. I sometimes think that the pain they feel is felt ten-fold by me! You would think the tumble would have made her leery of the stairs, but on the contrary, she seems more fascinated than ever. Seems these stairs are her Mt. Everest right now and she won't quit until she conquers them. But for now, Everest is blocked by a baby gate and she's PISSED about it!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

What is up with drivers??

I was out running errands yesterday. I hate running errands, in fact, I hate driving period, especially here in Texas. These people drive like goddamn maniacs! I was leaving my local Sonic, as I needed a cherry coke in order to help me endure the duldrums of my errands, and I pulled into the far left hand lane to make my turn. There was a Beamer that needed to turn left out of another parking lot, so being the courteous driver I am, I didn't block the drive so he could pull in front of me. Yea, nice me! He waved a thanks and all was good. The light changed and we started to move and I guess the lady behind him in the driveway assumed that if I let him in, I should let her in as well. So she charged out in front of me, got into the straight lane and as I started moving forward, she swerved back in front of me to get in the turning lane, then and here's the kicker, slowed down so much that she was able to make the light and left me at the red! Son of a bitch! I had some choice words, but refrained as I had children in the car.

So the light finally turns green and in the second and a half it took me to lift my foot off the brake and apply the gas, some bitch this GINORMOUS Dodge Super-cab lays on the horn! I'm sorry, kids or not, I waved my middle finger high! I mean seriously, I could understand honking if I was sitting there with my thumb up my ass, not moving, but shit, it does take a second to get the car rolling! Anyhow, this chick FLIPPED out! She came screeching around me, hanging out the window flipping me off and yelling and she damn near ran into the curb, she was in a freaking rage! But why was it OK for her to honk and be rude to me, but not OK for me to flip her off? So she finally gets back in her behemoth beast of a vehicle and speeds off like a demon, cutting off at least 4 other people, swerving in and out of traffic, a complete menace to society. Well, as I was coming up to my turn-off, I noticed that she was in the lane going straight and sitting at the stop light, so I made sure that as I passed her, turning on my protected left turn, that I looked over, gave her an "Oh dear, how sad you're stuck at the light!" look and blew her a kiss. I could see her completely melting down in her big 'ol truck, hitting the steering wheel and yelling and probably cussing her brains out! Can you say "psycho"?!?!

That is what amazes me about these people. They drive like bats out of hell, cutting people off, being general menaces yet they don't get anywhere any faster than the rest of us that drive carefully and courteously. Go figure.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Isn't she beautiful?

I don't normally post photos with my children on the blogs, but I took this amazing photo of my daughter that I had to share!

White Sands

Part of our trip to NM included an evening at White Sands National Monument. I have been here many times throughout my life. In fact I remember a trip with my hippy parents that ended in us stripping down to the buff at sunset and running around the dunes! My husband also went there alot as a youngster, however, I think his family usually kept their clothing on. No matter how many times I go though, it is always a memorable trip. There is something about that place, so desolate, yet so beautiful. For some reason sunsets are always prettier there, the sky is always bluer, I don't know, maybe it is the stark constrast between the sky and the sand. Whatever it is, it's beautiful! We were lucky to visit on a Friday evening, and needless to say White Sands isn't a Friday night hangout, so we were practically alone. I think we passed maybe 4 other cars while we were there. The children had a blast, sledding and running, or crawling in my daughter's case all over the dunes. To be able to let your children just run wild and free and see the joy in their little faces, it's overwhelming! At times, when the kids quieted down that you heard nothing, save the breeze. It was almost like we were the only people on the planet. Living in the city, there is NEVER quiet, but that evening I experienced that quiet and it was exhilarating! It made me long for a simpler life, without TV's and cell phones! I hope to go back next year and maybe take the Lucero Lake tour, to see the crystals. We also missed the White Sands Balloon Invitational, that is this coming weekend, what a cool thing to see hot air balloons taking off from this magical place! Although I would never suggest a trip to Alamogordo as it really has nothing to offer, White Sands is worth the drive!

From the mouths of babes...

So we just got back from our trip to NM and our car was COVERED in bug carcasses, EEW! I decided it wasn't going to be me cleaning them off so I took it to a car wash in Pflugerville where they hand wash it, then run it through the carwash and they vacuum it out and hand-dry, all that good shit. As it turns out, the carwash is a HUGE hit with the 5 y.o. crowd, who knew? There were several parents there with excited little boys watching cars slowly move through the washer. They were excited about the "cotton candy-colored soap" and all the jets of water! It was actually very cute! At one point this little guy (who had been running amok with my son) asked him, "What church do you go to?" My son's response??? (Ginny will love this!) "We don't go to church, Mommy says we're heathens!" The kid just seemed to accept this as no big deal, but the father turned a couple of shades paler! I just smiled at him and turned my attention to the baby. Priceless!