Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The money pit

We really should have never started working on our house! The floors... that was all we were supposed to tackle, just the floors. Of course when you rip off the trim to put down the floors you realize how screwed up and shabby the trim is (note to self, need new trim). OK, all we need is floors and trim, until we pull the toilet out to tile the bathroom. Eeeww! Note to self, need new toilet! OK, all we need is floors, trim, and a new toilet, that's all we need! Well, if we need to get a new toilet, we should pull out that hideous full length vanity top and the mirror that goes all the way across the wall. Why the mirror? Seems as though those of the male persuasion find it unnerving to have to watch themselves urinate, since I sit, I never noticed this was a problem, who knew? OK, all we need is floors, trim, a toilet, a sink and a mirror and that's all we need! Oh yeah, the utility room is just not functional we need some cabinets for that or at least shelving. OK, all we need is floors, trim, toilet, sink, mirror and cabinets, that's all we need! And paint, the bath and utility walls look so dull with the new tile so we NEED new paint. OK, all we need is floors, trim, toilet, sink, mirror, cabinets and new paint, that's it, that's ALL we need! But we still need to replace the back door since it leaks. OK, all we need is floors, trim, toilet, sink, mirror, cabinets, paint and a back door, that's ALL we need!

Cool, I really think that might be it! Hooray, we're done! Ah shit... now the carpet looks sad!

Monday, June 25, 2007

The Segregation of Mother

It starts with my mother wanting me to befriend a friend of hers that has recently moved to town (and vice versa). She thinks since we are both interesting women who have interesting thoughts and ideas about life, we might hit it off. But this woman doesn't think that she and I have anything in common since I am a mother. This led me to think about my situation and it dawned on me that I am pretty much passed over by most people I know because of my role in life. They think I'm fun, they think I have a bit of a wild and crazy streak and they seem to enjoy hanging out with me, but I am the last person on the "list" to get a call to go do something (you know, like the last kid to get picked for the kickball team!). And then I hear that old familiar statement, "Well, maybe you should find other mothers to hang out with, they'll understand your situation better." OK, now I want to start by saying that my mom friends are THE BOMB and I cherish their friendships immensely, but WHY is it that I am only allowed to make friends with other moms? Does the fact that I have progeny make me any less interesting? Does passing a child through the birth canal somehow deplete my brain cells so badly that I all of a sudden have nothing in common with those without children? If I'm not mistaken, I still watch the same shows, I still have many of the same opinions, my sense of humor is even better, I can still dance (giving birth actually did not deform my legs), I still like to shop for shoes, I'm even able to still drive a car and go places (contrary to popular belief), I still read great books, I still sing songs, I am still artistic (maybe even more so as I have MORE inspiration now)... so what's the deal?

Let me guess... "She'll only want to talk about her kids!" Well, I have to admit, I do talk about my children, probably quite a bit. When you are a stay-at-home mom, you are with your kids most of the time, so ALOT of my life does revolve around my children. But let me ask this, what do all of you non-parents talk about most of all? If you don't know, let me give you a hint... YOUR JOB! Well, raising my children IS my job. And what I'd like to know is what about your job is so much more interesting than mine? Do people ever stop to think about that? I guarantee hearing a person babble incessantly about their workplace is about as interesting as folding socks! It seems that people feel I should have to sit and listen to them, so why is it I don't get the same courtesy back? Is it just impossible to find some sort of middle ground, based on mutual respect and a hope of finding something besides work in common?

The other thing I find very strange is that most fathers I know, including my husband, don't really seem to have this issue. I don't remember anyone ever telling my husband that he needed to go find more fathers to hang out with. Why is that? Is it because everyone sees "mother" as the ultimate caregiver, the one who has to make the sacrifices or do people just seem to think that fathers are less likely to discuss the kids at length? Or is it because many fathers also work outside the home, so they technically "have a life"?

Well, just to set the record straight... I DO have a life, since when is raising children not having a life? I seem to remember in days past that raising your children was the sole purpose of most people's lives. I am also still a bright, captivating, young woman with alot to offer in a friendship and if someone is so damn shallow that they can't see past the title of "mother" then it's their loss. But for those of you out there that have been introduced to a nice woman, who happens to be a mother, maybe you should make an effort to get to know her a little better, she may be more intriguing than you think.

I've Been Tagged

Ginny Glasser tagged me! But here's the sad thing, she is the only one I know who blogs in the public domain. All of my other blog friends blog on private spaces about their kiddos. So unfortunately, although I can participate, I can only tag her back or tag my other blog! I need to make more blogger friends!

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before
we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about
their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you
need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don't forget
to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your

Anyway, for anyone who's interested here are my 8...

1. I always thought I was a bad girl, but it turns out I'm really not! All throughout my teenage years I was a party animal with lots of boyfriends, I was destined to be a rockstar (or at the very least a rockstar's girlfriend). I love tattoos, black high-heel boots, heavy metal and punk rock and I have a the worst foul mouth (I could make a trucker or a sailor blush!). And although I had a great time in my wild life, I settled very easily into marriage and motherhood. I've been married for almost 13 years, I have 2 beautiful children (5 and 12 mos) and my life is so much more meaniful and joyful than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes I feel I I've lost a little of what made me "ME", but maybe I didn't lose anything, maybe I just evolved.

2. I like animals more than I like most people.

3. I seem to have the gift of gab. I am one of those people that can never tell a short story. I am ALL about the detail.

4. When I was 3 or 4 I got a HUGE tick in my ear and when my mom pulled it out, she put it in a jar of alcohol and I kept it on my dresser and named it Edward.

5. Although I live in Texas, my soul belongs in Oregon. When I lived there, surrounded by green, flowers, forest, and ocean my heart was full of joy and for the first time in my life I felt honestly and truly like I was home. I miss it!

6. I never wanted to be a mother, my son was a surprise, but I find it odd that the one thing I NEVER wanted to be turned out to be the one thing that I am truly happy with and truly good at.

7. I used to play bass guitar in several bands, in high school I was in the all-girl glam band Shameful Pain, then I moved on to a thrash metal band called Screamer, then I moved to Phoenix where I played in a band called Gutterslut, then in ABQ I dabbled in a punk band we called Coprophagy (go look that one up, it's funny!).

8. I once broke a guy's nose for hitting me!

Monday, June 04, 2007

That's crap!

So here's how it starts, we find a big, fat caterpillar at the park. We bring him home, set him up in the butterfly enclosure that we used to raise Painted Ladies last year. Anyway, I decide to do a little research on the care and keeping of caterpillars, after all, I don't want him to meet his ultimate demise in my care. I would be sad and my son would be devastated! While aquiring other tidbits of information I discover that caterpillar poop is called "frass". Actually, upon further research I find that "frass" is the preferred term for bug poop in general, who knew? Is it just me, or does there seem to be a veritable shit-load of words to describe, well shit? I mean there are the obvious ones like feces, dung and excrement. But what about the more specialized terms? Let's see, we have "guano" for bats and birds, yet bird poop is also described as a "dropping" which seems quite accurate if you ask me! Rodents produce pellets and rabbits also produce pellets, but they also produce things called cecotropes, which are reingested by the rabbit. Hello, call me crazy but I'd rather have 4 stomachs and chew cud than to have to eat anything that comes out my arse, but hey, if it works for them, cool. Elephants produce "balls" (approximately 500 lbs worth in a 24-hour period...call me impressed!), worms produce "vermidung", and whales, bears, and Bigfoot (or would that be Bigfeet?) produce "scat". Actually scat is pretty universally used to describe feces of a many animals, I have heard skunk poop referred to as scat and so on. Let's not forget our farmyard friends, we have manure as a general term and bovidung if we want to be polite, but then there are cow pies or patties, meadow muffins and prairie chips or in Scotland they call it "coo plab" and in Newfoundland they call it "cow plates" (are their cows bigger?). Horses in the country make horse apples, but in the city they make "alley apples" (I guess that's what your local police horse leaves behind!). There are "moose berries", "elk duds" and "deer pellets". And I think it is safe to assume that dog poop could technically be referred to as "contact information"! And as much as I might like to go on, I won't even get started on the infinite variety of words and phrases that we humans use to describe our own excrement. Maybe in another blog, in fact, maybe I'll send out a poll to all my friends to find out their favorite terminology. Stay tuned for that!