The Segregation of Mother

It starts with my mother wanting me to befriend a friend of hers that has recently moved to town (and vice versa). She thinks since we are both interesting women who have interesting thoughts and ideas about life, we might hit it off. But this woman doesn't think that she and I have anything in common since I am a mother. This led me to think about my situation and it dawned on me that I am pretty much passed over by most people I know because of my role in life. They think I'm fun, they think I have a bit of a wild and crazy streak and they seem to enjoy hanging out with me, but I am the last person on the "list" to get a call to go do something (you know, like the last kid to get picked for the kickball team!). And then I hear that old familiar statement, "Well, maybe you should find other mothers to hang out with, they'll understand your situation better." OK, now I want to start by saying that my mom friends are THE BOMB and I cherish their friendships immensely, but WHY is it that I am only allowed to make friends with other moms? Does the fact that I have progeny make me any less interesting? Does passing a child through the birth canal somehow deplete my brain cells so badly that I all of a sudden have nothing in common with those without children? If I'm not mistaken, I still watch the same shows, I still have many of the same opinions, my sense of humor is even better, I can still dance (giving birth actually did not deform my legs), I still like to shop for shoes, I'm even able to still drive a car and go places (contrary to popular belief), I still read great books, I still sing songs, I am still artistic (maybe even more so as I have MORE inspiration now)... so what's the deal?

Let me guess... "She'll only want to talk about her kids!" Well, I have to admit, I do talk about my children, probably quite a bit. When you are a stay-at-home mom, you are with your kids most of the time, so ALOT of my life does revolve around my children. But let me ask this, what do all of you non-parents talk about most of all? If you don't know, let me give you a hint... YOUR JOB! Well, raising my children IS my job. And what I'd like to know is what about your job is so much more interesting than mine? Do people ever stop to think about that? I guarantee hearing a person babble incessantly about their workplace is about as interesting as folding socks! It seems that people feel I should have to sit and listen to them, so why is it I don't get the same courtesy back? Is it just impossible to find some sort of middle ground, based on mutual respect and a hope of finding something besides work in common?

The other thing I find very strange is that most fathers I know, including my husband, don't really seem to have this issue. I don't remember anyone ever telling my husband that he needed to go find more fathers to hang out with. Why is that? Is it because everyone sees "mother" as the ultimate caregiver, the one who has to make the sacrifices or do people just seem to think that fathers are less likely to discuss the kids at length? Or is it because many fathers also work outside the home, so they technically "have a life"?

Well, just to set the record straight... I DO have a life, since when is raising children not having a life? I seem to remember in days past that raising your children was the sole purpose of most people's lives. I am also still a bright, captivating, young woman with alot to offer in a friendship and if someone is so damn shallow that they can't see past the title of "mother" then it's their loss. But for those of you out there that have been introduced to a nice woman, who happens to be a mother, maybe you should make an effort to get to know her a little better, she may be more intriguing than you think.