Seeing red...

Anyone with a delicate nature or who is easily offended by use of excessive profanity need not read any further.

Whoever thought it was a grand idea to plant invasive grape-like vines all along the perimeter of my backyard fence was a SICK, SADISTIC, COMPLETELY PIECE OF SHIT HUMAN BEING! I have lived in this house for exactly 3 years and I have cut back these fucking vines at least twice a year. The problem being that they are so big and so invasive and the trunks and root structure are buried beneath a very rickety fence. Now if I had the cashflow to rip the fence down altogether, I could probably eradicate these damn vines, but at this time, that amount of money isn't floating around my bank account. So I cut these damn things down as far as I can go without damaging the fence. Then they grow back, bigger and faster than before! It's like they are some sort of crazy mutant vine that intends to take over the planet! And from what I've seen, if left unchecked, it would do just that! Block out our sun and destroy life on the planet as we know it (so you all should be thankful and praise my name that I am saving you AND the planet from certain death and destruction)! And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if this damn thing actually produced SOMETHING. I don't know, a fruit, a melon, hell, I'd even be happy with a flower, but NOOOOO!! It is a big, stupid, ugly, worthless bit of organic matter and a waste of carbon dioxide and I want it to fucking die! I mean seriously, you have to know this thing is a bitch if I, Queen of the Tree-Huggers, want to rip, maim and otherwise mangle this horrid thing! Not only did I just spend hours in the hot Texas sun ripping that thing off the fence, I had to tackle the Hackberry tree that was felled by the storm a couple of weeks ago. So a double whammy! Now that I have most of it cut down, I'm now trying to figure out how the hell to get rid of it. I swear, I'm going to hunt down the evil succubus that used to live here and dump all this shit right on her front lawn and let her deal with it! Then I'm gonna punch her in the neck and let my dog shit in her yard!