Difficult decisions postponed.

So how's this for weird, I was pondering the euthanasia of my old kitty cat. She really has been in alot of pain the last few months and I just couldn't justify letting her suffer anymore. I had decided that I would probably take her to the vet, for one last review of the circumstances, let them know the pain meds they prescribed weren't at all working (and they were even morphine based!). Anyway, while hanging out with her, watching TV the other night I just was messing with her feet when I realized that two of her claws had grown very thick and had curled under and were starting to grow into the pads of her feet! In all my years I have NEVER seen a cat's claws do that. Needless to say I called the vet first thing the next morning (mostly since Miriam tried to disembowel me when I tried to cut them myself!) I decided to take advantage of this to really discuss her pain and what my options were and that I was debating euthanasia if I couldn't get her pain under control. I should also mention that the morphine based meds were $26 a week, which was a bit out of my budget. Not that I wouldn't put myself in the poorhouse for my pets, BUT, when you have 2 kids to feed and gas and milk both over $3 a gallon, that med was cutting into grocery money! ANYWAY, they took care of the claws, luckily they hadn't cut through the pads yet, but they were still uncomfortable, which is probably why she has been limping more lately. (This makes me feel like a shmuck by the way, that I didn't notice this sooner!) Afterwards I discussed the pain situation and the solution was for me to try two new meds, one is called Metacam which is more for joint and bone pain and then Gabapentin which is more for neurological pain. Luckily, because they both had to be diluted and dosages are small, both meds together are a quarter of the price of the morphine! I can afford $40 every 3 months! I am waiting for the gabapentin as it had to be special ordered through a pharmacy, but we started the Metacam and call me crazy, but I think the grumpy, little, tabby is feeling better! She has been more bright-eyed, she has actively sought me out for petting and I have heard her purr for the first time in MONTHS!!! She is still having twitches and weird neuro stuff, but I'm hoping the gabapentin will help with that. I am optimistic! Don't get me wrong, I know my kitty-girl still has cancer, I know that it will metastasize as I refuse to amputate her leg, hell for all I know it already has, and I also know that my time with her is limited. But at least I can say that for the time being, her time with me is no longer a miserable existence. I think the meds are helping dramatically and if I can keep her comfortable until her time comes, that is all I can ask for. At least now, she'll hopefully be comfortable enough to enjoy the love we have to give her! I'm happy today!