Out with the old... In with the new!

Goodbye to 2008 and hello to 2009! Where DID the time go? As I do every year, I spend the first day or so of the new year reflecting upon the past year. What was accomplished, what was not, what was joyous, what was hard and what would I like to accomplish in the next year. Those of you that know me, know I don't do resolutions. Resolutions SUCK! To me, resolutions are nothing more than a way to set myself up for failure so I can beat myself up about it next year. What's the point? I have goals. Some of these goals will come to fruition, others will just get a kick start, but that is better than nothing. After all, a year is only a year, and no matter how hard you try, there are some things that just can't be accomplished in 365 days!

So, what did Trina accomplish this year? Well let's see...

1. I yet again managed to bring 2 children one year closer to adulthood without strangling them or selling them on the black market.
2. I successfully homeschooled my son another year, EVEN with a toddler in the house!
3. I skipped out on my 20 year high school reunion and took that trip I promised myself with my husband! One week in Cozumel and I can't tell you how much that boosted my morale and strengthened our marriage! I love my kids, but sometimes Mommy and Daddy need some time to rediscover what we had BEFORE children came along, to have conversations that don't include words like "poop", "potty", "farting" or "Lego Deathstar Destroyers", and to revel in the silence, enjoying one another's quiet presence. You can bet I'm going to make this a yearly goal, whether it's a long weekend or a full week, that kind of time together is priceless!
4. I planted a garden! I was entirely successful in raising herbs, tomatoes, cantaloupe and jalapenos, but bell peppers and squash were lessons in futility! Maybe I'll have better luck this year! There was something more fulfilling than you can imagine, going into the garden and harvesting tomatoes with the kids, watching them eat the fruit right off the vine and using that days harvest in our dinner. I hope to add more beds this winter so I can expand the garden and have higher yields. Growing your own food is not only good for your body, but good for your soul!
5. I finally got my big, badass tattoo! A memorial for two little babies that never made it into this world, and a tribute to the two amazing kids that did! Now I have a daily reminder to never forget the two that I lost, but also never forget how lucky I am to have the two that came!
6. I celebrated 14 years of marriage! That's a pretty big number and I find it immensely satisfying that after 14 years, I still love him, still respect him, still think he's the best father ever and still want to spend the rest of my life with him. Pretty damn cool!
7. I'm finally feeling comfortable with where I am and what I'm doing. I have found amazing friends in an amazing community of women and I feel much more grounded, much more supported and much more loved. Finding a solid network of great women is something I have been striving to find for years, and now that I have it, life is much more enjoyable!

So... although I still don't have baseboards or a finished kitchen, I still have a wonky fence and I still don't take enough time for myself, I did accomplish some great things this past year! And maybe, just maybe, 2009 is the Year of Baseboards!

Now on to my goals...

1. Keep on keepin' on! Try to live in the moment and quit worrying so much about the future. After all, the future just puts me one step closer to dyin', right?!
2. Expand my garden! My garden frustrates me and elates me all at the same time, but there is just something about having my hands in the dirt and smelling the scent of tomato vines that gives me a sense that I am truly a part of the natural world and not just some tech junkie that spends too much time on the computer!
3. Spend less time on the computer! I won't give up my blogging, but Facebook and Myspace, your time will be limited!
4. Make more of an effort to call and see friends! Email is nice, but there is nothing like visiting in person!
5. Spend MUCH more time outdoors, whether hiking, camping or gardening. I spent entirely too much time indoors last year and it has made me feel disconnected and weak!
6. To work on some ideas I have to make natural, affordable toys. It makes me crazy that toys that are good for the environment and stimulating for children that are NOT made in China cost too much for the average person to afford them! But that is another tangent I should save for another entry!
7. Last, but not least, be a good human! Work toward lowering my footprint on the planet, work toward raising children that are open-minded and respectful, that want to make a difference in the lives of others and the environment. Our future rests in their hands, so this is one of those on-going goals and the greatest labor of my life! My children will ultimately be my greatest contribution to the planet so I've got to get this one right!

I am looking forward to a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year! And I'm not talking about monetary prosperity (although a little of that might be nice), I'm talking about the kind of prosperity that comes from the joy of watching children grow and learn, the connection, the passion and the safety felt with a lifelong partner, and the love and loyalty of a good 'ol dog! It's all about the everyday triumphs and the little things that cause great joy. Sometimes you have to look for them, but they're always there, whether it's the smell of a freshly bathed baby, the uninhibited giggles of silly children, the fleeting morning kiss from the spouse leaving for work, the little red tomato picked right off the vine or the smell of fresh baked cookies and the eager anticipation of children wanting to eat those cookies. It's truly the little things that make each day awesome, which in turn makes each week amazing, which leads to great months and phenomenal years! I hope each of you experience everyday joys in your lives and have a happy and prosperous New Year as well!

Trying something new!

So I have been wanting to do more with my photography. I take beautiful pictures of my kids, I think I do a pretty nice job with nature and landscape and I LOVE traveling the backroads of the southwest taking photos of old buildings, barns and farmhouses. I have been considering delving into portrait photography. I would prefer to work with entertainers, musicians and just interesting people, not the typical, white, hazy background with the little All-American family, after all, kids are HARD to take pictures of! But I'm a long way off from getting to do the fun stuff. Now it is time to just experiment with portrait photography, the use of lights and reflectors and all the gadget-type crap that I'm not used to. When I do landscape and nature photography, I rely on natural light. Anyway, I have a wonderful friend who is VERY pregnant and I have convinced her that she needs to do belly photos. I did belly photos with both my pregnancies and they are, by far, my favorite photos of myself. The pregnant woman is a wondrous, glowing, sexy thing and far too few women embrace this time of their lives. So I am happy that she is allowing me the honor of photographing her beautiful body. I hope I get at least a few really nice shots to commemorate this wonderful time in her life! I will ask her if I can post one of them, depending on how good I do!

Goodbye 2007... Hello 2008!

As with so many other folks, I too have been reflecting on the past year. For some reason I have this nagging in my brain saying I didn't accomplish Jack Shit last year. Maybe it's the stay-at-home mom thing, I think it's hard for me to quantify my accomplishments the way people in the working world can. I didn't get any promotions and I certainly didn't get a raise, there are no documented reports on whether my performance was satisfactory or not. I have to look into my heart, my home, my marriage and my childrens' eyes in order to gauge my progress. So what DID I accomplish this year?

1. I managed to bring two children another year closer to adulthood (with only one visit to the ER!)
2. I successfully completed my son's first "official" semester of homeschooling!
3. I watched my daughter learn to crawl, speak, walk, and start feeding herself (this is the good stuff!)
4. I encouraged creativity and imaginative play with my son and have watched him blossom with his new found talents!
5. With my hubby, I managed to lay over 1000 sq. ft. of flooring, remodel a half-bath and utility room, re-upholstered 6 kitchen chairs, and began landscaping the front of the house.
6. I had several garage sales which helped clear out some of the clutter in order to get a healthy start on organizing my crazy life!
7. I took thousands of photos of my kids and kept blogs to document their amazing little lives!
8. I continued with this blog as a way to express myself, whether good or bad, it was a creative way for me to document things, brag about things and bitch about things. It has given me an outlet and I love that!

So those are some of the main things I'm proud of in 2007, but what about 2008? Well, I'm not one for resolutions, as I see them as a way to set myself up for failure. I'm not saying I don't have goals for the new year, but I don't consider them resolutions, as my life is a work in progress and a year's time may not necessarily be the time frame that I'm able to make things happen. So I set my goals and work as diligently as possible to achieve them, but I try not to beat myself up about the ones that don't get completed (my dining room chairs and baseboards, for instance!) That being said, here are some of my goals for 2008...

1. Spend less time on housework and stupid shit and spend more time enjoying my children! They are only little once and I've been given the amazing opportunity to stay at home with them. I need to take full advantage of this, for their sake and mine!
2. Continue with homeschooling my son!
3. Be a little bit selfish and make a serious effort to take some time for myself, exploring my painting and photography, going out to a few movies, and reading more books!
4. Continue landscaping, finish painting and installing baseboards in the downstairs, begin re-surfacing kitchen countertops and install new backsplashes, buy and install cabinets in garage in order to organize and free up space in the garage for me (and the kids) to do artwork.
5. Try to take ONE trip with just my husband (to anywhere!)
6. Continue to nurture a great relationship with the hubby, after all in Aug. 2008 we'll celebrate 14 years of marriage!
7. Last (and most definitely least) take advantage of the fact that I dropped my baby weight and am thinner now than I was in high school. So now it's time to start exercising some to beef that up. After all, I have my 20 year high school reunion this year (UGH!) and it would just be so much nicer to go back to face all the bitches that treated me like a second class citizen with a hot bod! I know, kind of superficial, but hey, I'm allowed to be shallow on occasion!

Although I am hoping for a great 2008, I certainly can't complain about 2007. I mean it's true that money was tight, gas prices were too damn high, and the hubby had to travel more than I would have liked, but in all honesty, we had healthy children, a roof over our heads, food on the table and functional vehicles, so really, I'm pretty thankful for 2007! I just want to strive to be a good human and to teach my children to be good humans in 2008. After all, it's love that makes the world go round, right? Happy New Year to all my friends and family, may the new year bring health and happiness to each and every one of you!

And yet another novel idea...

So I told my hubby last night that I was thinking of starting to write a novel today for that Nano Wrimo thing. He seemed deeply concerned, wanting to know where I would get the time, obviously seeing how spread thin I am already. I had a somewhat sleepless night debating, should I or shouldn't I do this. And although I'm tired as shit today, I did wake up with a clear idea about things. He is absolutely right, I am spread so thin right now it's ridiculous. I don't have enough time to be writing this blog, much less a freakin' novel, YET I still have that urge to prove to myself I can accomplish something important. So, in lieu of writing the next great American novel in the next month, I am going to shoot for a goal that would actually benefit me. I started a cute little children's book about 2 years ago, nothing fancy, just cute and fun. I had a good start, then life kicked in and I never got back to it and that's a shame, I think it has potential to be really good. So... instead of writing a novel about nothing, my goal is to finish that book and start looking for an illustrator. THAT would truly make a difference in my life, accomplishing something that has real meaning and significance to ME. I will hopefully have plenty of time to write that novel years from now when children have left for college. Right now, anything that takes me away from teaching, playing and spending time with my kids had better be something I have vested interest in! Because these days of Spiderman and dinosaurs and invisibility cloaks and giggles and kisses and peek-a-boo are days that I will cherish for the rest of my life and missing even a moment just so I can say I wrote a stinkin' novel in a month, well, that's just crazy. But that little children's book, that is worth a little of my time, especially since it is being written for them! I will let do an update on the book situation on Nov. 30th to see if I reached my goal!

The Novel

So I came across this site: www.nanowrimo.com It is a site where they challenge you in the month of November to write a 50,000 word novel. Now, the novels are not actually judged on content, but by word count, no one actually ever reads them. But I guess the whole point is to prove that you can accomplish anything if you set a deadline for yourself. I really would like to do it, but I just can't imagine being able to put in the 2-3 hours a day that I would probably need, mostly since it is the month before XMAS and I have 50 things looming in the home remodeling department before XMAS arrives. It may be fun to try though, and if nothing else, whether I made the 50K words or not, I would have at least gotten a pretty good start on something! Who knows, I may buck up and do it, just to prove I can! As the site says, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Shaking a bad habit, or at least trying!

Seven months into my last pregnancy, I began to crave Cherry Cokes from Sonic (sweet nectar of the gods!). My developing fetus was bombarded with food coloring, carbonation and caffeine every afternoon for the duration of her stay in my womb! In fact, by the time she was born I was so addicted that the first thing I asked for on my way out of the hospital was a Cherry Coke from Sonic. And so the trend has continued. Granted, I can't afford my Sonic Cherry Coke habit, so I settle for Coke Classic in cans here at home. It gets me the caffeine and it still tastes pretty good. It has been an integral factor in my motivation to work on home improvement projects! I wasn't always like this. In fact, before that craving kicked in, I very rarely drank carbonated beverages of any sort. I'm usually more of a tea, water and milk kinda girl! But I am now in the grips of a full blown Coke addiction and I need to shake it... BAD!

Saturday afternoon was my last Cherry Coke at Sonic. I savored every last little drop! Needless to say, the rest of Saturday was fine. I had my good afternoon buzz and life was swell. Then Sunday afternoon came around and that old familiar feeling hit. The need for a good caffeine rush! I was out running some errands and thought, well, it wouldn't hurt anything if I just grabbed a coke out of the cooler at Lowe's and drank it while finishing up my business. They only had Gatorade and water. You know, if I had just bought the water, life might not have sucked as bad, but I was pouting. On the way home I had to stop at Walgreens so I figured I'd pick up a cold one while I was there. Imagine my dismay when I found that the Coke cooler had only Vanilla Coke, Diet Vanilla Coke and Diet Cherry Coke. I'm sorry, but I'm a purist, I will only consume a flavored coke if it is a flavored FOUNTAIN coke, these imposters in a can just won't do! So I left without a coke. It seems I was not destined to consume a Coke yesterday, some weird karmic quirk to keep me on the wagon. Once I got home I was on the edge! I wanted that coke so bad I could hardly stand it! And if my craving wasn't bad enough, my hubby went out to the garage fridge and cracked open a Diet Coke in the other room. I heard the tab pop and I all but lost my freakin' mind! When I yelled at him, he smiled, held up his Diet Coke to offer me "cheers" and then said I was more than welcome to help myself to a Diet Coke. Curse that EVIL, EVIL man!

So, I made it through the afternoon and last night. I am fine now as I have just downed an ENORMOUS cup of English Tea. But I am dreading the afternoon. I better make a pitcher of iced tea (my methadone for caffeine addiction!), it's not as satisfying, but I'm hoping it will get me through the day. I figure if I can make it a week without a coke, I'm home free! Unfortunately, my poor little boy will be going through withdrawals with me, as addicted as I am to Cherry Coke, he is to oceanwater and Cherry Limeades! So if you see a frazzled mom with a twitching eye and a deranged 5 y.o., just stand back and try not to get in the way, we can't take responsibility for our actions at this time!