On the matter of white elephants...

Hubby and I have a White Elephant party to attend tomorrow night, then I have another to attend the next week. The one on Saturday will most likely be more fun as it is with close friends and the gifts generally verge on the sick, twisted, bizarre and most definitley X-rated. The other one that I am attending is with my other homeschooler moms and that one tends to hang in the PG-13 to possible R rating. There are a few moms, myself included, that I think would enjoy a party that was a little more, shall we say, risque? But then there are those one or two uptight, pious girls that would definitely raise an eyebrow or two and possibly get offended, and being that this party is offered to our entire group, we have to make sure no one feels uncomfortable. BORING!

Either way, I seem to be at a loss for gift ideas. My first White Elephant party, I took one of those Billy the Bigmouth Bass things, you know... the seemingly taxidermied fish that would turn it's head and sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" if someone walked by? That thing was a HUGE hit, people fought over that one! However, I seem to remember coming home with a box of half-eaten candy canes for my gift. :-( Then last year, I managed to find this book my aunt had sent me called, "Living With Irritable Bowel Syndrome" an odd choice of books since I personally don't suffer from IBS, but what the hell, pair that book up with Fleet Enema and you have a GREAT White Elephant gift! But this year my mind is blank! More so for the R-rated one, it is hard for me to think IN the box. I am much more creative in the area of crudeness and perversion! I know, sad, but true. So I will spend the day, searching my closet and the garage, looking for that perfect White Elephant gift. Maybe I should go reclaim that old toilet I have out for the bulk trash, I think I have a box big enough to fit it! Any suggestions?!?!