Serenity NOW!

Just as a precursor, I want to assure everyone that I ADORE my little boy. He is the most amazing thing on the planet, smart, funny, totally silly and without a doubt the coolest 5 year-old I know. That being said, HE DROVE ME CRAZY today! And I don't mean that he kind of annoyed me... he drove me full-on, stark-raving, wanting to pull my hair out or catch it on fire and run down the street naked, kind of crazy! There are three main issues that have just persisted the whole day, well, until now when he is sleeping soundly over on the couch. The first being the "Mommy what's your favorite _______?" Favorite food, favorite animal, favorite safari animal, favorite number, favorite type of t-shirt, favorite piece of furniture, favorite car, favorite leaf, and the list goes on (infinity!). OK, this was slightly endearing the first couple of times he asked, but it has now been going on for months and he asks me the same shit all the time! I have already answered my favorite soup, my favorite book, my favorite town in NM, etc... I wish he would ask something different, or better yet, just drop the favorites thing for like a week to allow my brain to recupe from this heinous abuse! Of course what's funny is he offers to tell me his faves, yet he doesn't seem to quite understand the concept of favorite. He has 8 favorite foods and 3 favorite animals, and six favorite places. Anyway, after awhile, I hear the word favorite and I want to gouge a fork into one ear, through my brain and out the other ear!

Now the second issue is truly sweet and I feel like a heel that it makes me crazy, but he has been following me around for days telling me how much he loves me. "I love you to two-billion!" "I love you to outer space and back and back out and back home and back out and back again!" I love you as high as that airplane!" And the clencher is, "I love you more than you love me!" I HATE that one! I try to explain it's not a contest. I tell him I love him more than anything and I am happy he loves me too, but I'm not going to compete to see who loves who more! I know he's only 5, and this concept of love, and who you love versus who you like versus who you don't like, is kind of gray right now. He tells me he loves everyone he's ever met. Sweet, but so naive! I just wish I could convince him to just tell me he loves me, that's all I need, no frills, no comparisons, just that he loves me is all I ever need to know.

The third issue is one that I don't see getting resolved anytime soon. Anyone with children I would assume has this same issue, but it was just that it was compounded with the other two today that threw me over the edge. He interrupts what I'm doing to ask me a question (this is actually NOT a problem, questions are always welcome). However, halfway through the answer he either starts talking about something else or you can tell he is paying attention to anything else but me. OK, why does he ask the question if he doesn't want to hear the answer??? Is it just to get my attention, is it just because I'm doing the dishes and he wants to interrupt what I'm doing, or am I just that damn dull that I can't keep his attention for 2 minutes? But that's not the kicker... he will ask the question, not listen to the answer and two hours later ask me the SAME FREAKIN' QUESTION!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. And like I said, he is totally conked out on the couch and looking so blissful and sweet, I certainly can't stay aggravated with him. He is a punk and he drives me crazy, but he's mine and my worst day WITH him is better than any day I ever had without him! So I'm off to carry his 40-lb. ass up the stairs to tuck him in and give him a kiss.

Signing off.