She's growing too fast!

My baby recently celebrated her first birthday and of course I was overjoyed. She is learning so much right now, it is almost hard to keep up with her. She wants to know what everything is, constantly pointing and demanding answers, exploring every aspect of her world. She has quite an impressive vocabulary already and it increases daily. She knows more than she can say, when asked where something is, she'll point to whatever object you're asking for. She isn't walking yet, too busy trying to talk to worry about it, but she is cruising. Actual play is happening now as well, she likes to roll a ball back and forth, she genuinely gets and enjoys Patty Cake, she understands that when you count to three she's going to get tossed up in the air or dipped back or something fun, you can see the anticipation and excitement in her eyes! I seem to remember this being a wonderful age with her brother as well. There is just something awesome about witnessing the transformation from helpless, little being to mobile, verbal, interacting toddler!

But... there are the times that I realize I will never see this stuff again. Once she moves on to the next stage of development, that last stage is gone forever. It wasn't so bad with my son because I knew I would have another child one day. I'd be able to experience all of those wonderful things at least one more time. Then, after the birth of my daughter, I was sure that I had fulfilled my biological need to procreate and fixed myself. I don't necessarily regret this decision, it was the responsible thing to do. Two kids work for us, anymore would have us strapped financially and I want to make sure I can afford the children I have. I want to make sure I can provide college educations and family vacations, not to mention put food on the table! That being said though, sometimes there is that slight pang that I'm done. I'll never have my own tiny little baby again, I'll never witness that first smile again, or that first time to roll over, or see the reaction to tasting a lemon for the first time. It's heartbreaking in a way. There is part of me that is happy she is past all the "teeny baby" stuff, the colic, the 4 times a night feedings, the 10 diapers a day and all that, but then there is part of me that will miss this tiny little person, snuggled up against me at night or riding against my chest in her sling, or the awe at how small and delicate her little hands and feet were. And there is that feeling with a newborn, I think only a mother can understand, where you know with all your heart, mind and soul that you are "THE ONE", you nourish that baby with your own body, you warm her with your warmth, and you love her like she is an extension of you because SHE IS! So, I would be lying through my teeth if I didn't admit that I am sad I will never have another one. I KNOW it was the best decision for our family and I am so AMAZINGLY in love with and happy with the two I have, so there are really no major regrets, just lingering memories that sometimes make me long for another. I'd be willing to bet I'm not the only mother that ever felt this way, am I right?