What 's a mother to do?

As most of you know, I have a 5 1/2 y.o. son. He is without a doubt the light of my life and in all honesty a really good kid. I am always getting compliments about how polite he is, how sweet and caring he is and of course what beautiful curly locks he has (he gets that from me!). But as we near the tender age of 6, I can tell there are some serious changes on the horizon. It is obvious that he is really beginning to see himself as a separate and free-thinking entity. Which in the general sense of things is good. I mean this is our job right? To raise our children to be healthy, cognitive beings that can navigate through the vast sea of crap we refer to as life. We hope we arm them well with strong values, humanity and a consciousness about the world around them. However, in order to accomplish this task, we have to let go, give up some of the control and holy shit... that's hard!

As of late, I find myself nagging at him. Nagging about stupid shit! You know, flushing the toilet after he poops, not taking toys away from his sister, not making horrible gagging sounds in the back seat, not swinging on the stair bannisters, not constantly trying to get his baby sister to say words like poop, butt, booby and pee-pee (I mean seriously, how many other words are in the English language for him to teach her, but NOOOO, he wants her to say poo-poo in the restaurant!) So I call him on these behaviors, but I call him on these things DAILY! Seriously, I have told this child and yelled at this child to "FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN YOU POOP" everyday since he learned how to use the potty at age 3! He is 5 1/2 now that is over 2 years, so I have re-iterated this rule at least 912 times!!!! What is it in the 5 y.o. brain that makes it impossible to remember these simple things? I mean he can remember what he did 2 years ago at Balloon Fiesta in ABQ, or what he did at Nana's shop 4 visits ago, but he CANNOT for the life of him remember to flush the pot! So I am starting to feel like one of those nagging mothers you see at the grocery store constantly bitching at her kids. I desperately don't want to be THAT mother! But then again, what happens if I neglect to call him on these things? Will he lose his respect for me, will he feel that if he does something long enough, I'll just finally cave and he'll get his way regardless? I know I may sound like a Nazi, but I do not cut that kid slack. I'm not a terribly strict parent, but I do believe that there are certain rules that make co-habitating with your family easier and you must follow them, not to mention rules of conduct when engaging in life outside the home. And when he doesn't abide by these there are consequences. His sister will be held to the same standards. But I do hate being that naggy, bitchy mom. I want my kids to remember me as someone they had fun with, not someone that bitched at them all the time. So, I'm at a loss. Do I ease up and accept the fact that this is the beginning of him becoming an individual being with thoughts and feelings of his own, or do I stay diligent and work to make sure he follows through with direction and understands consequences? I'm just really not sure what the happy medium is here.

Bad Ass Boots

As you all probably know, I attended the Boot and Saddle Maker's Convention in Wichita Falls, TX with my mother. It was nice, not really what I was expecting. I guess I had high hopes of hearing tales about my grandfather. I had many people tell me what a good man he was and what an amazing bootmaker he was, but to be honest, I already knew all that. I was happy that my mother was able to take me and the kids around and introduce us to her colleagues. I know how important it is for a grandparent to get the chance to show off those grandbabies! My son and I both donned our awesome boots and he was more than happy to hike up his pant leg to give folks a better look at the craftsmanship! He was very proud to tell people that his Grammy made them for him! Lucky kid, I don't know alot of 5 year-olds with custom made boots! Anyway, when I got home, I was inspired to get my boot collection out and take a couple of photos. Some of the boots were made by my grandfather... The Master, and others were made by my mother whose artistic take on boots is second to none. The first photo is my collection of boots, the second photo is my son's collection. Pretty impressive, right? Over the years I have always loved my boots, but I have to admit, after being at the convention and seeing the work of other bootmakers, it makes me proud that my boots were handmade with love by my mom and granddad and they are truly the best!

Well, that's one off my list!

So all of my life I have wanted to go to Scotland, it is one of my top 5 things to do in life. My ancestors were Scots, so you know, one of those things that I want to see before I die. But who knew I would get to cross this off so soon?!? As it turns out, on my way to Wichita Falls, TX I was able to drive through Scotland and I've got a picture to prove it! So my life is that much closer to being complete! ;-) I have to admit, I think Scotland is a little over-rated! Hee-hee! I guess that is one of the great things about Texas, you can stay in the state, yet go all over the world. We have Scotland, Paris, and London just to name a couple. I'll have to make the effort to go see them as well!

On the road again...

Since I was unable to take the kids to Balloon Fiesta, I will be lugging the terrible two up to Wichita Falls, TX to visit my mother while she attends the 2007 Boot and Saddlemakers Convention. I have never attended, but my mother and my grandfather (when he was still alive) attended it every year. It should be interesting. If nothing else, I bet I get regaled with tales of my grandfather, and there is something special about that. I always find it interesting to hear about other people's experiences with him. He was a very well-loved man that was well respected for his craft. So I will be donning my hand-made, inlaid cowboy boots most of the weekend, my little man will be donning his as well, and the baby, well, she isn't really wearing shoes yet. Not really looking forward to the drive up there, it's 4-ish hours, but that is better than the 13 hours it would have taken to get to Albuquerque! Besides, I worked out a better route, it's the backroads, but I prefer to travel the mother roads anyway. Freeways are overrated, they cut through the landscape and you have to drive so fast and furious you are never able to pay attention to your surroundings. So I'll take the less traveled route and enjoy the countryside. Who knows, maybe I'll even snap a few shots. Who cares if my camera is missing some of it's pixels? I'm sure I'll have loads to blog about when I get back!

Why is it always me?

While out in the driveway, unloading some stuff for an upcoming garage sale, I heard a faint and high-pitched mew from the other side of my car. I walked around and here is this adorable little cat. My friend and I say, "Well hello, what are you doing here?" At which time she comes slinking up, rubbing up against our ankles and being sweet as can be. I lean to pet her and notice that she has full teets, so obviously there are kittens somewhere. However, she is so skinny and I can't bear it. She may be another species, but she is a mother and I can't turn my back on a mother in need. I went inside and popped open a can of tuna and mixed it with some dry cat food. I took it outside and that little girl tore into that food like she hadn't eaten in days! She was SO ravenous that during her meal she spied a dragonfly buzzing by and stopped eating long enough to leap on and immediately eat the dragonfly and then returned to her tuna and cat food. I let her eat and went back inside, hoping that she would get a full belly and make her way back to her kittens. Yeah, no such luck, she has been sleeping like a log in our flowerbed all afternoon and she partook of some more dry food when I took it out for her. I am worried about the babies. Are they around here in bushes somewhere, are they in someone's house and she just got lost while hunting dragonflies, or did she and babies get booted and the babies didn't make it. So I am at a impasse. I can't fetch her up and take her to the humane society and risk the lives of the babies, but I worry about her roaming the streets, there are coyotes in our area and cars. So, I guess I just sit and wait. Maybe she will get a full tummy and some much needed rest and make her way back home tonight. I can only hope. Or if she needs help, I hope she feels fed and comfortable enough here to go get them this evening and bring them here, then I can take them all to the humane society. It just sucks, all stray animals within like a 5 mile radius seem to gravitate to where I am, they must know that I can't overlook them, I just don't have the heart. Some psychic or karmic vibe that I send out letting all little animals in dire straits know that I am a big, fat, sucker! I'll keep everyone posted this latest saga!

From the mouths of babes, 3.

In an effort to save time, I had my son in the shower with me this morning. Unfortunately, he had a slight case of flatulence, which is NOT something one would hope for when having to share a small cramped spot with him, UGH! Anyway, while trying to wash the shampoo out of his hair, as quickly as possible, I might add, he leaned back and said that he really didn't enjoy the "stinkness" that was in the shower. I highly agreed! And then he asked, "Why do pooters make such a stench?" Time to find and record that episode of Mythbusters! Maybe they can answer that question better than I can!?!

No more essay questions ALLOWED in school!

I received an email from my FIL over the weekend discussing a recent development in the small town that he lives in. Turns out that awhile back there was a history test, I think, or social studies test that several football players failed. This caused many of these football players to be ineligible to play ball. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was for that Friday's game or for the rest of the quarter. Regardless, since this small town is centered around it's high school sports, especially football (Friday Night Lights, baby!) this caused a HUGE uproar. As it turns out, the school decided to launch an investigation. Cause we all know that if some of the jocks aren't passing classes, it can't be from lack of motivation or knowledge on their part. When the investigation was complete it was found that essay questions were the culprits that caused these boys to fail. So it was determined that the TEACHERS were not qualified to write and/or rate such questions on a test. Therefore, at this time, essay questions are NOT allowed on tests!

I don't know what is more outrageous, banning essay questions or stating that your teachers are not qualified to grade them!?!? I mean really if your teachers are NOT qualified to write and grade an essay question, then you hired the wrong teachers! But we all know, it isn't the teachers that are the problem, it's the system. This school depends on money raised by the sports department. If these boys don't play, they don't win games, the attendance goes down, and the head honchos get antsy. It is a sad state of affairs. What is an action like this saying to these kids? I'll tell you, it's saying that we don't care if you learn anything, we don't care if you can organize your thoughts into a decent paragraph, we don't care if you are competent enough to get a job after you graduate, all we care about is you winning football games. Now do these boys see it like this, highly doubtful, what they see is that no matter how bad their test scores are, or how little effort they put into their academics, they will still get a free ride because they can pass a ball and make a touchdown. And yet again, that lovely thing called entitlement, these boys will believe they are "entitled" to a great life because no one ever held them responsible for anything. And does it just affect just these players? No, in fact I am sure these guys are heroes in the high school because they got essay questions banned! Now all of the students can thrive for the same mediocrity, if you can even call it that. So hooray for the school board! Way to keep our kids competitive in the global market!

Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can...

My son got a Spiderman suit from his grandparents while we were on vacation. Now he has agreed that he doesn't want to be Spiderman for Halloween, he wants to be a robot (we're excited about that!) Anyway, since he received this suit he has been in it non-stop! I don't know why I bother to buy clothes for him as all he wants to wear is that silly suit. Now I'm thrilled that he enjoys the suit, and he is definitely getting his money's worth out of it, but for the love of PETE!!! For some reason when he is suited up, he is a PUNK! He does all sorts of crazy crap that he knows he shouldn't do. Climbing on the stair bannisters, jumping out of the window seat onto the couch or our bed, trying to climb walls, putting his feet on the walls and generally bouncing around and all over and up and down and rolling on the ground with a constant barrage of "tsseew, tseeew" noises accompanied by web-slinging wrist action. It is truly enough to drive you out of your mind! And of course all he is interested in talking about is Spiderman, Tarantula, Venom, Sandman, The Green Goblin, etc... Oh well, I'm sure this is just a phase, and I probably did the same sort of thing when I was 5, but holy cow, if he doesn't quit firing webs at me when I tell him to do something, his new super hero name is gonna be "Time-Out Boy"!

Shots!

It was my baby's 15-month check-up today and you guessed it... SHOTS! I LOATHE shot days. She got three shots and they stuck her finger to get blood. I could hear her screaming all the way in the waiting room, where I was trying my best to comfort my son who also got two shots! Lucky for him, this is it. Other than possible flu vaccines, he is done with boosters and whatnot until he's 11 or so. Anyway, I got to leave the doctor's office with two crying kids and an extreme desire to punch someone! I know vaccines are necessary, but that still doesn't keep me from wanting to pommel anyone who causes pain to my babies! I am lucky that my hubby comes to the shot appointments and he deals with the actual deed. I just deal with the comfort and hugs afterward. But shots still suck ASS!

Only in a dream...

As I was sleeping, a familiar soft, but raspy voice roused me, "Wake up Sleepy-head!" As I rolled over rubbing my eyes I see my grandfather smiling his crooked smile. He tells me to get out of bed that he's treating me to pancakes at the Tastee Freez. At this point I realize that this is a dream, the Tastee Freez hasn't been in business for years. I look at him, he is still small, bent over and frail, wearing his little tan over-suit (you know, the type that old guys wear when beetling around in the garage) but he looks happy. I turned and hugged him and whispered in his ear that I missed him so much, he hugged me back and said he missed me too. Then it was gone, just like that, the first time I've dreamed of him since his death almost 2 years ago. He was the only father that I ever really had and I guess I forget sometimes how much I miss him!

Job Description

Looking for a mature female to fill a high-stress position.
Applicant must be willing to be work and be on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Must have the desire to work closely with small children. Must be able to manage time, money and children effectively. Skills in the culinary arts highly recommended (must be a master in the fine art of nutritional disguising). An eye for interior design and landscaping preferred. Must be fluent in anger management and conflict resolution. Must also be multi-lingual (able to differentiate between different pitch and frequency in crying, GooGoo-ish, Whine-ese, text messaging, and teen attitude-ese). It helps if you have a high tolerance for crying, whining, and complaining. Medical and Veterinary skills a plus. Must we willing to go days without showering. An ability to troubleshoot major appliances and household gadgets is required. Must have own car and be willing to travel extensive distances at all times of the day or night with small children, strollers and diaper bags in tow. Must be willing to put every other being in the workplace ahead of yourself.

Duties include:
Maid services, meal preparation, laundry services, activity and social coordinating, finance management, daycare, teaching, chauffer service, nursing care, veterinary care, lawn maintenance, project coordination, counseling services, product testing, early childhood development, coaching, refereeing, music appreciation, proofreading, vehicle maintenance, sanitation services, solid waste removal, other duties may be added as deemed necessary.

This position offers no insurance or monetary compensation whatsoever. You will not receive an hour lunch or two 15-min breaks for every 8 hours worked. There is no chance of promotion, however it is highly likely that you will gain more and more responsibilities at any given time. And although you will work 24-7, only others that hold the same position will understand the true meaning of this.

However, your days will be filled with hugs, tiny kisses, hi-fives, "I love you's", the smell of freshly shampooed baby hair, bedtime stories, toothless grins, excited giggles, and best of all, you'll be called "Mommy"!

A Quick Addendum

After all, it is not the boob or even sex that will be the downfall of civilized society, it will and always has been money, greed and power.

Breastfeeding and obscenity

So I was just reading on my Parent Center newsletter when I came across an article about the online directory "Facebook". Now I'm not signed up with Facebook, I'm a myspacer, but the article was annoying nonetheless. It seems as though Facebook is going through and deleting photos of breastfeeding mothers due to their obscenity rules. OK, what? Run that by me again?! Breastfeeding is breaking their obscenity rules? If I'm not mistaken there are pictures of scantily clad teenage girls showing WAY more boob than any breastfeeding mother on that site! These young women are allowed to post photos wearing teeny bikinis with their ta-ta's hanging out for the world to see in order to attract attention to themselves, but BREASTFEEDING is obscene. What the hell is wrong with people? I don't know, photo of a tender moment with a baby at the breast versus bikini clad youngster flaunting her wares, which one is more obscene? Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those uptight women that thinks breasts are bad. If a young women (over the age of 18 mind you) wants to expose her boobs on the internet, then so be it, I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is this site is deleting photos of breastfeeding, but NOT deleting photos of girls in bikinis or girls with their cleavage all pushing out of their tops. I'm sorry, but if you're gonna get rid of the boob in one form, you gotta get rid of it in all forms. But they don't want to get rid of the bikini girls, because those photos attract young males and they get more people using their directory, but because some over-conservative buttheads got "offended" by the breastfeeding photos they're gonna pull them. It just makes me want to puke! As a breastfeeding mother, it really pisses me off when people are "offended" by breastfeeding. What is offensive about feeding a baby? It is a beautiful, natural thing. There is nothing sexual about a breastfeeding boob! There is really no difference between breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, bottom line, it is a mother nourishing a child, nothing more. And anyone who can't see that is a freakin' perv anyway! I personally find people who find breastfeeding offensive to be offensive. Anyone who thinks breastfeeding would be sexually arousing is obviously wound up too damn tight! Leave us breastfeeding mothers be, and go buy a damn Playboy so you can see some titties that are meant to arouse you! And Facebook, your moderators need to get a damn clue, either allow the breastfeeding photos or tank every shot of a woman with cleavage... fair's fair.

Holy crap!

I just got done mowing my backyard. And I can say without hesitation that my hubby owes me BIG time! Mowing is normally his job, but due to us being out of town and him being gone on business, I had to suck it up and mow so our exterminator (green of course) can truly judge our situation tomorrow. This grass (and or weeds) was damn near knee level! The mower kept stalling out, I'm pretty sure I got stung by a wasp and I fell in one of the many holes and damn near sprained my ankle! I can tell you, I am one POOPED-OUT girl! Honestly, if I wasn't in a suburban area, I would torch my freakin' lawn and just start over. It is nothing but a fire ant infested, overgrown, dog shitter! One dying maple tree, one scraggly ligustrum bush and no covered patio, it's a damn hell-hole out there. Guess what we'll be working on this fall?!?!

From the mouths of babes, take 2.

I don't know what the deal is this week, but my son has been on a roll! It starts with us playing the rhyming game in the car, good, mellow car game, right? Well let's just say that duck rhymes with something that isn't necessarily something I prefer to hear coming from the mouth of my 5 y.o.! So I had to explain that "fuck" is actually not an appropriate word to be used, that it is a "grown-up" word and not a nice "grown-up" word at that. He seemed to understand and has refrained from using the word further, but as far as I know, he is up in his room saying, "fuck, fuck, fuck" as I type. Before this week, I just ignored the word and never made a big deal out of it, knowing that it would just bring unwanted attention to the word, but I figure he is old enough to maybe understand that yes it is a word, but one that is not used in pleasant society. We'll see.

Then today, he was drawing pictures and would come over and tell me what they were. One picture was what he described an "octopus submarine", then he showed me a picture of a "stocking knocker" (what the hell is a stocking knocker?), then he drew a "worm pellet". He explained "worm pellets" were to feed worms and make them change colors. I'm glad to see him finally embracing the world of imagination! But I do wonder where he comes up with these things!

And not more than two minutes ago, he was laying on the floor and informed me that his entire body was asleep, except for his head. OMG, that kid makes me laugh! I think "from the mouths of babes" will have to be a recurring post because this kid is just too damn funny! And who knows what kind of good stuff will come from his sister once she starts mastering language?!?

It had to happen.

We live in a 2-story house, which wasn't my choice necessarily, I REALLY wanted a one-story ranch style, but those are expensive and hard to come by here. Two-story homes are a pain, you forget something and have to run upstairs or vice versa, stairs suck to vacuum, the upstairs is substantially hotter than the downstairs, just more of a pain in general. My biggest problem with 2-story homes however is kids! In the rental house we lived in before this one, my son took several tumbles down the stairs, one time ending in a complete face-plant on the tile entryway. Not a good thing! I was remotely relieved that our new house has the type of staircase that goes up halfway, has a landing and turns the opposite direction for the rest of the way, so I figured if anyone fell, it would only be halfway! Luckily, no one has tumbled down the stairs, that is until yesterday. My little girl, who isn't even walking yet, has taken a liking to the stairs. This is a recent development and I have not caught up with this milestone yet. So while I was clearing the morning dishes, I heard this "whump, whump, whump, splat, WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Believe me, you never saw someone move so fast and jump over a couch in the manner I did! I stripped her down, while she was wailing, to ensure that there were no broken bones or blood, there was not, and in fact, I'm pretty sure she just scared the hell out of herself because she was shaking so hard. She cried and cried, I hugged and cried along with her and we made it through. Babies learning to walk ESPECIALLY with stairs in the house completely sucks! It would help if she weren't such a daredevil, but this little girl is all or none and I worry that she will be nothing but a walking bruise until she's 6. I just remember this stage with my son, crying with him and my heart breaking everytime he skinned a knee or busted his head. I sometimes think that the pain they feel is felt ten-fold by me! You would think the tumble would have made her leery of the stairs, but on the contrary, she seems more fascinated than ever. Seems these stairs are her Mt. Everest right now and she won't quit until she conquers them. But for now, Everest is blocked by a baby gate and she's PISSED about it!

What is up with drivers??

I was out running errands yesterday. I hate running errands, in fact, I hate driving period, especially here in Texas. These people drive like goddamn maniacs! I was leaving my local Sonic, as I needed a cherry coke in order to help me endure the duldrums of my errands, and I pulled into the far left hand lane to make my turn. There was a Beamer that needed to turn left out of another parking lot, so being the courteous driver I am, I didn't block the drive so he could pull in front of me. Yea, nice me! He waved a thanks and all was good. The light changed and we started to move and I guess the lady behind him in the driveway assumed that if I let him in, I should let her in as well. So she charged out in front of me, got into the straight lane and as I started moving forward, she swerved back in front of me to get in the turning lane, then and here's the kicker, slowed down so much that she was able to make the light and left me at the red! Son of a bitch! I had some choice words, but refrained as I had children in the car.

So the light finally turns green and in the second and a half it took me to lift my foot off the brake and apply the gas, some bitch this GINORMOUS Dodge Super-cab lays on the horn! I'm sorry, kids or not, I waved my middle finger high! I mean seriously, I could understand honking if I was sitting there with my thumb up my ass, not moving, but shit, it does take a second to get the car rolling! Anyhow, this chick FLIPPED out! She came screeching around me, hanging out the window flipping me off and yelling and she damn near ran into the curb, she was in a freaking rage! But why was it OK for her to honk and be rude to me, but not OK for me to flip her off? So she finally gets back in her behemoth beast of a vehicle and speeds off like a demon, cutting off at least 4 other people, swerving in and out of traffic, a complete menace to society. Well, as I was coming up to my turn-off, I noticed that she was in the lane going straight and sitting at the stop light, so I made sure that as I passed her, turning on my protected left turn, that I looked over, gave her an "Oh dear, how sad you're stuck at the light!" look and blew her a kiss. I could see her completely melting down in her big 'ol truck, hitting the steering wheel and yelling and probably cussing her brains out! Can you say "psycho"?!?!

That is what amazes me about these people. They drive like bats out of hell, cutting people off, being general menaces yet they don't get anywhere any faster than the rest of us that drive carefully and courteously. Go figure.

Isn't she beautiful?

I don't normally post photos with my children on the blogs, but I took this amazing photo of my daughter that I had to share!

White Sands

Part of our trip to NM included an evening at White Sands National Monument. I have been here many times throughout my life. In fact I remember a trip with my hippy parents that ended in us stripping down to the buff at sunset and running around the dunes! My husband also went there alot as a youngster, however, I think his family usually kept their clothing on. No matter how many times I go though, it is always a memorable trip. There is something about that place, so desolate, yet so beautiful. For some reason sunsets are always prettier there, the sky is always bluer, I don't know, maybe it is the stark constrast between the sky and the sand. Whatever it is, it's beautiful! We were lucky to visit on a Friday evening, and needless to say White Sands isn't a Friday night hangout, so we were practically alone. I think we passed maybe 4 other cars while we were there. The children had a blast, sledding and running, or crawling in my daughter's case all over the dunes. To be able to let your children just run wild and free and see the joy in their little faces, it's overwhelming! At times, when the kids quieted down that you heard nothing, save the breeze. It was almost like we were the only people on the planet. Living in the city, there is NEVER quiet, but that evening I experienced that quiet and it was exhilarating! It made me long for a simpler life, without TV's and cell phones! I hope to go back next year and maybe take the Lucero Lake tour, to see the crystals. We also missed the White Sands Balloon Invitational, that is this coming weekend, what a cool thing to see hot air balloons taking off from this magical place! Although I would never suggest a trip to Alamogordo as it really has nothing to offer, White Sands is worth the drive!

From the mouths of babes...

So we just got back from our trip to NM and our car was COVERED in bug carcasses, EEW! I decided it wasn't going to be me cleaning them off so I took it to a car wash in Pflugerville where they hand wash it, then run it through the carwash and they vacuum it out and hand-dry, all that good shit. As it turns out, the carwash is a HUGE hit with the 5 y.o. crowd, who knew? There were several parents there with excited little boys watching cars slowly move through the washer. They were excited about the "cotton candy-colored soap" and all the jets of water! It was actually very cute! At one point this little guy (who had been running amok with my son) asked him, "What church do you go to?" My son's response??? (Ginny will love this!) "We don't go to church, Mommy says we're heathens!" The kid just seemed to accept this as no big deal, but the father turned a couple of shades paler! I just smiled at him and turned my attention to the baby. Priceless!